library-of-a-madman:

This is Link’s favorite soup, and pretty much the best consumable in the game because it heals both your life and magic bars and doubles Link’s attack power. Goes to show, even in the enigmatic world of Hyrule, there’s nothing like your Grandma’s cooking! 

 

Ingredients:

1lb Yellow Squash, chopped

6 tbsp Butter

2 Turnips, peeled and chopped

2 Carrots, chopped

1/4 Cup Cauliflower, chopped

1 medium Yellow Onion, chopped

4 tbs. Lemon Juice

4 Cups Chicken Broth (or Veggie Broth if vegetarian)

3 Garlic Cloves, minced or chopped fine

1 Yellow Chile, de-seeded and chopped (optional)

Salt and Pepper to taste

Chives or Green Onions, chopped fine


Directions:
Melt the butter in a large pot over medium-low heat, cook the yellow onion and garlic until softened, around 8-10 minutes. Add the squash, carrots, cauliflower, turnip, lemon juice, chile (if using) and half of the broth and bring to a boil. Reduce heat, then simmer, until vegetables are very tender, about 20 minutes. Remove from the heat and let cool for about 10 minutes or until soup won’t burn you. Puree the soup in a blender or food processor until smooth (be careful with hot liquids) and transfer to the cleaned or a new pot. Season with salt and pepper to taste. Simmer on low until you serve, adding more broth until desired consistency. Put in your serving vessel (preferably a corked glass bottle) and add the copped chives or green onions to the surface of the soup for garnish. Drink it with a smile!

 

faustbot:

unxoriginal:

kyerabianca:

All these colors were achieved with red, yellow, blue, and green food coloring mixed into white frosting. The amount of drops needed for the color you want is underneath the icing color. So convenient. :)

I love Mint Chip = 3 blue, 3 green

Click to enlarge!

(via annaandblue)

this is the greatest thing I’ve ever seen

Note to self

kermitthefrrog:

thegrimsleeper:

YO BITCHEZ, LOVE DUNKAROOS?

WANT TO MAKE A MASS QUANTITY OF IT AND SAVE MONEY AT THE SAME TIME??

WELL HERE YOU FUCKING GO:

1 box funfetti cake mix (DO NOT add the ingredients that you usually would to actually make the cake - you need just the mix)
2 cups plain yogurt
1/2 container of cool whip.
Serve with animal crackers or graham crackers.

 

SIGNAL BOOST THIS. HELP ME FEED MY PEOPLE.

My whole life and existence has lead up to this moment in time. I am complete.

pixivcafe:

sugar—-milk:

いろいろなトースト

fuckingrecipes:


LOOK AT THIS GODDAMN DRINK, SO BEAUTIFUL.
IT’S CALLED ‘ITALIAN SODA


BECAUSE ITALIANS KNOW HOW TO DO FUCKING EVERYTHING PERFECTLY. JESUS FUCK, LOOK AT THAT SHIT. PASTA AND PAINTINGS AND NOW THEY’VE MADE SODA INTO A FACE-SMASHING ART!

HOW THE HELL DO YOU MAKE SOMETHING THIS FLAWLESS?
WELL SAUNTER INTO THE KITCHEN, MY LOVELY LITTLE SHITS, BECAUSE IT’S TIME TO GET COOKING!


INGREDIENTS YOU NEED INCLUDE SOME WATER, SUGAR, HALF-AND-HALF CREAM AND CLUB SODA,THEN BLUEBERRIES OR STRAWBERRIES.

FIRST, YOU’LL MAKE SOME FUCKING FRUIT SYRUP. IF YOU FEEL LIKE CLIMBING MOUNT EVEREST IN YOUR UNDERWEAR, BLUEBERRIES IS PROBABLY BEST FOR YOU, AND YOU’LL NEED 3 CUPS OF THOSE BEAUTIFUL DARLINGS.

IF YOU WANT TO WRESTLE SOME GREAT WHITE SHARKS WITH A DEER HAUNCH STRAPPED TO YOUR ASS, THEN STRAWBERRIES SOUNDS LIKE THE BETTER FLAVOR FOR YOUR FLAWLESS MOUTH. YOU’LL NEED 4 CUPS OF CHOPPED STRAWBERRIES. image

PICK YOUR FRUIT AND STICK WITH IT!

SHOVE 2 CUPS OF WATER INTO A POT, WITH 2 CUPS OF SUGAR! KEEP THAT SHIT ON ‘HIGH’ TEMPERATURE AND STIR UNTIL IT JUST LOOKS LIKE THICK WATER.


PREPARE YOUR BODY, BECAUSE THIS SHIT IS MAGNIFICENT.
JUMP OUT OF AN AIRPLANE AND TOSS THE 4 CUPS OF STRAWBERRIES OUT OF THE ATMOSPHERE AND INTO YOUR POT.

ALTERNATELY, IF YOU’RE FEELING LIKE A LAZY SHIT, YOU CAN SCOOP THE FRUIT UP WITH YOUR HANDS AND DUMP THEM INTO THE POT LIKE A FUCKING WUSS.


LET IT BOIL FOR 10 MINUTES, WHILE YOU’RE WAITING, YOU CAN GO SWALLOW A FUCKING TIME VORTEX TO SAVE THE UNIVERSE, BUT GET BACK IN TIME TO TAKE THAT SHIT OFF THE HEAT.
PUT A BOWL UNDER YOUR STRAINER BEFORE YOU SHOVE YOUR MIXTURE INTO IT, BECAUSE YOU’RE SAVING THE SYRUP, AND THE FRUIT ALREADY DID ITS JOB.

SHOVE THIS DELICIOUS SYRUP SHIT INTO A CUP SO IT’LL BE EASIER TO HANDLE. I MAKE DOUBLE BATCHES AND KEEP THE EXTRA STUFF IN A BOTTLE MADE FROM CRYSTALLIZED TIME LORD TEARS AND CHILDREN’S LAUGHTER. image


SHOVE YOUR SYRUP IN THE FREEZER FOR AN HOUR, BECAUSE IT NEEDS TO COOL THE FUCK DOWN!

NOW GET OUT YOUR JESUS FUCK THIS IS SO FANCY TYPE OF GLASSES, HELL, MAYBE YOU FEEL LIKE USING YOUR ANCIENT CRYSTAL CHAMPAGNE FLUTES, WHAT THE FUCK EVER. I DON’T GIVE A FUCK

FILL THOSE BEAUTIFUL BASTARDS WITH ICE.
FILL ¼ OF THE CUP WITH YOUR SYRUP.
THEN GET IT UP TO THE ¾ POINT WITH CLUB SODA.
AND TOP IT OFF WITH SOME HALF-AND-HALF. image

BEAUTIFUL BOUNCING TITTIES THAT LOOKS WONDERFUL.


STIR THAT SHIT UP AND ENJOY YOUR FUCKING ITALIAN SODA!

fuckingrecipes:

SHUT THE HELL UP AND STOP PUTTING ICE CUBES IN YOUR LEMONADE. YOU WANT FIX YOUR WATERY LEMONADE? ADMITTING THERE’S A PROBLEM IS THE FIRST STEP TO STOP BEING A PUSSY, AND MOVING ON TO BEING A MAJESTIC MOTHERFUCKER. 

GET SOME FRUIT.

BLUEBERRIES, STRAWBERRIES, PEACHES, LEMONS, LIMES, FUCK I DON’T KNOW, MAYBE PAPAYA OR MANGO! GET YOUR ASS OUTSIDE AND PUNCH SOME BUSHES UNTIL IT CRIES FOR MERCY AND HANDS YOU YOUR GODDAMN FRUIT. 

BERRIES YOU CAN JUST SHOVE INTO THE ICEBOX AND GO CONQUER A COUNTRY WHILE YOU WAIT A DAY FOR IT TO FREEZE.

PEACHES AND NECTARINES, FUCK, YOU CAN EAT THE DAMN SKIN ON THOSE! TAKE OUT THAT MACHETE YOU KEEP IN YOUR BACK POCKET, BECAUSE WHO THE FUCK KNOWS WHEN A DINOSAUR COULD COME KNOCKING AND MOTHERFUCKERS NEED TO BE PREPARED, THEN HACK THAT DELICIOUS MOTHERFUCKER INTO SLICES. 

image

NOW PUT THOSE BEAUTIFUL FUCKERS IN YOUR FREEZER. 

YOU’RE A CITRUS KINDA ASSHOLE? 

TAKE THE SKIN OFF YOUR CITRUS AND RECYCLE THAT SHIT! SAVE THE WHALES, YOU HARCORE MOTHERFUCKER. 

I BET YOU CAN SEE WHERE THIS IS GOING, WITH THE FREEZER. 

FUCK. 

WHEN YOUR FRUIT IS FROZEN, USE THEM INSTEAD OF ICE CUBES TO KEEP YOUR DRINK AS COLD AS A SNOWMAN’S FROSTY DICK, AND MAKE ALL YOUR FRIENDS OR MAYBE ONLY YOUR PETS SAY ‘WOW WHAT A CLASSY MOTHERFUCKER’

IF YOU’RE AN ALCOHOLIC TYPE OF SHITHEAD, YOU CAN PUT YOUR FROZEN-ASS FRUIT INTO RUM OR VODKA OR SOME SHIT. 

NOT ONLY ARE YOU GOING TO HAVE A COLD, FLAVORED DRINK, BUT YOU’LL GET YOUR DAILY SERVINGS OF FRUIT. YOU SNEAKY LITTLE HEALTH-CONSCIOUS ASSHOLE. 

TASTES LIKE GODDAMN VICTORY, THAT’S WHAT. 

pineapplebananacurry:

cookingformorons:

greencarnations:

How to make your ramen 9001x better, courtesy of Reddit

And you can buy roast beef and roast chicken on the internet. I am set for ramen for like a year now.

QUICK EGG IN UR RAMEN TRICK MY FRIEND TAUGHT ME IN HIGH SCHOOL

pour just enough water into your pot to cover your noodles and other ingredients, then get a small cup/fancy measuring 1 cup cup or w/e and measure out another cuppa watta. dump that shit in too.

make ur ramen. just start boiling and dump whatever you’re supposed to put in in the beginning. u know how to make ramen this isn’t ramen for snot nosed sobbing beginners ok

KEY PART: you know how it says on the back of the package to cook for about 4-5 minutes?? we’re cooking for 5 minutes. wait for your ramen to cook for the first three minutes. stare hungrily if you must. but the EXACT MOMENT 3 minutes hit here’s what you do:

  1. SCREAM. and then stir your noodles to make sure nothing is sticking to the bottom of the pot. (scream is optional) also make sure your broth is still more or less covering your noodles, if its not add a bit more. it doesn’t matter if some is still sticking up we just don’t want chewy noodles (unless you’re into that) (i’m into that)
  2. make a lil hole in your noodles. this little hole must have broth in it and nothing more. make it in the middle or the side it honestly doesn’t matter you just need a clear shot to the bottom of the pot
  3. crack your egg and toss that mother into the hole.
  4. COVER EGG WITH NOODLES AS QUICK AS YOU CAN
  5. DON’T. STIR.
  6. I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU STIR FOR THE REMAINING MINUTE AND A HALF YOU probably won’t ruin anything you’ll just have egg drop soup i guess but IF YOU DON’T STIR
  7. Congratulations, you have poached an egg in your broth! Your poached egg now tastes like your ramen broth. Revel in your victory.
  8. no seriously that egg will be mildly chewy deliciousness oh my god if you can perfect this technique you will never have your egg in your ramen another way again

crimson-firecat:

jellly-fishing:

wethinkwedream:

yogastrong:

headturnmeon:

juicewzl:

yesslynn:

ellegolightly:

This angry food is making my year right now.

NATURE’S BUTTER, BITCH.

Tasty and aggressive, two of my favorite things.

I lol’d. so hard.

LMAOOOOOOO  this is some of the best shit i’ve seen on Tumblr…had me dying lol

I had to.

omg

HAH

Lavender lemonade sounds fucking good for real

alcoholic beverage breakdown

transientday:

suffspeare:

starexorcist:

icoulduseinsouciantmaybe:

euclase:

I had a disturbing exchange with a high school-aged person today that prompted this…

  • Beer, wine, mead, and cider are fermented beverages.
  • Mead is made from honey.
  • Cider is made from apples.
  • Beer is made from grains.
  • Beer tastes like beer because they flavor it with hops.
  • They used to flavor beer with dandelions.
  • Ain’t that cute?
  • All beer is either ale or lager.
  • Ale is fermented at room temperature.
  • Lager is brewed and store cold.
  • Barleywine, bitter, porter, and stout are ales.
  • Pilsner and bock are lagers.
  • Most of the crap people drink in America is pale lager.
  • Mosft of the crap people drink in Ireland is dry stout.
  • Butterbeer isn’t real.
  • (Except actually I think it is, and I heard it tastes like cream soda)
  • Miruvor isn’t real, either, but it probably would taste like squash.
  • Ent-draught isn’t real, either, but shit, it would be awesome if it were.
  • Wine is made from fermented fruit juice, usually grapes.
  • Red wine is made from red grapes.
  • White wine is made from green grapes.
  • The name of the grape is the name of the wine (Chardonnay, Pinot Noir, Cabernet Sauvignon, and Merlot are all varieties of grape)
  • Unless you live in France.
  • In which case, the name of the place supersedes the name of the grape.
  • (for example: Burgundies are made in Burgundy, France, but Burgundy wine can be Pinot Noir or Chardonnay)
  • Champagne is any sparkling white wine.
  • However, Champagne can also be wine that comes from Champagne, France.
  • Drink red wine with beef. Drink white wine with fish.
  • Act like it tastes good. 
  • Keep a Diet Coke in your bag for later.
  • You’ll be fine.
  • Brandy is distilled wine.
  • Cognac is brandy aged in oak barrels.
  • Don’t fuck around with the French about their cognac.
  • Fortified wine is wine with added alcohol.
  • Sherry is fortified white wine made in Spain.
  • Port is fortified red wine made in Portugal.
  • Vermouth is fortified white wine plus grape spirits.
  • Sweet vermouth has added sugar.
  • Dry vermouth has added spices like nutmeg.
  • Liquors are distilled spirits that contain ethanol.
  • Liqueurs are liquors that have sugar and flavors added.
  • Liquors can be made from grains, fruits, or vegetables.
  • Grain alcohol is liquor made from grains. Duh.
  • Gin, Vodka, and Whisky are grain alcohols.
  • Vodka is grain alcohol and water.
  • Be careful with vodka. Homemade vodka is poisonous.
  • Gin is (basically vodka) flavored with juniper berries.
  • Absinthe is (basically gin) flavored with anise.
  • Whisky is grain alcohol aged in wood barrels.
  • Malt whisky is made from barley.
  • Grain whisky is made from all the other grains.
  • Scotch is whisky made in Scotland.
  • Bourbon is Kentucky whisky mostly made from corn.
  • Don’t fuck around with the Scottish.
  • Don’t fuck around with people from Kentucky, either.
  • Tequila is liquor made from the blue agave plant.
  • Rum is liquor made from sugarcane.
  • Schnapps is liquor made from fruit “must” (smashed fruit that still contains seeds and skins).
  • American schnapps is grain alcohol mixed with fruit flavors and sugar syrup.
  • Drink apple schnapps only while playing Tekken 2.
  • Sake is rice wine that’s brewed like beer. Or something.
  • Avoid these cocktails: Grog, Long Island Iced Tea, Manhattan, Dark and Stormy, Jack and Coke, Piña Colada, Scorpion. They contain huge amounts of alcohol and/or a huge number of calories. That Long Island Ice Tea is the worst motherfucker of the bunch. Just avoid them. Have a lemon drop martini instead.
  • Don’t drink on an empty stomach or you’ll puke.
  • Don’t drink too fast or you’ll puke.
  • Avoid Long Island Iced Teas. Like I said.
  • Don’t drink and drive because you might kill my Mom. You fuckers.
  • If your friend has had too much to drink and needs to crash, make sure she’s lying on her side so she doesn’t choke on her own vomit. 
  • Don’t leave a drunk friend alone.
  • Passing out is a sign of being severely goddamn sick. If someone drinks and passes out? They are dying right now. Call 9-1-1. 
  • If you are drunk, don’t drink coffee or caffeine to get sober. Sip cold water and nibble some saltine crackers.
  • Don’t be a fucking idiot. Don’t smash my mailbox.
  • Really, do you need to drink? 
  • You probably don’t.
  • But now you know some stuff. Maybe.

image

I need this for… uh reasons…..

9fficially my fav9urite p9st 9n Tum6lr.

I wanna try dandelion beer. Hops beer tastes gross.

Reblog4 months ago with 21,224 notes

thecakebar:

Cafe Au Lait Trifle (Brownie shots with Coffee Baileys)

spacu:

erinkyan:

consulting-pervert:

if I don’t eat this cake at least once in my life then nothing has any meaning

Holy fucking SHIT! And their is a recipe and everything. Thank.

mangosteel:

Keeping this FOREVER. All look awesome and all are or can be vegan-ized.

tortoisehare:

CREAMY

Creamy Spinach Soup
Put 1 chopped onion, 2 peeled garlic cloves, 3 cups water and salt and pepper in a pot over high heat. Boil, cover, lower the heat and simmer until the onion is tender, about 10 minutes. Add 10 ounces chopped spinach and 1/2 cup parsley leaves; cook until the spinach is tender, 2 to 3 minutes. Add 1 cup Greek-style yogurt and purée. Garnish: A spoonful of Greek-style yogurt and chopped parsley.

Squash-and-Ginger Soup
Substitute 1 tablespoon minced ginger for the garlic and 4 cups chopped butternut squash for the spinach (it will take longer to soften). Skip the parsley and substitute half-and-half or cream for the yogurt. Garnish: A spoonful of cream.

Curried Cauliflower Soup
Substitute 1 tablespoon minced ginger for the garlic, 2 cups cauliflower florets for the spinach (they will take longer to soften), 1 tablespoon curry powder for the parsley and coconut milk for the yogurt. Garnish: Chopped cilantro.

BROTHY

Vegetable Broth With Toast
Put 2 chopped carrots, 2 chopped onions, 1 small chopped potato, 2 chopped celery ribs, 2 garlic cloves, 10 sliced mushrooms, 1 cup chopped tomatoes (canned are fine), 10 parsley sprigs, 1/2 ounce dried porcini, 8 cups water and salt and pepper in a pot over high heat. Boil, lower heat and simmer until the vegetables are soft, 30 minutes or longer. Strain and serve over toasted good bread. Garnish: Chopped celery leaves.

Egg Drop Soup
Beat 4 eggs. Boil the strained stock, lower the heat so it simmers and add the eggs in a steady stream, stirring constantly until they’re cooked, 1 to 2 minutes. Stir in 1/4 cup chopped scallions, 1 tablespoon soy sauce and 1 tablespoon sesame oil. Skip the bread. Garnish: Chopped scallions.

Rice-and-Pea Soup
Boil the strained stock, lower the heat so it simmers and add 3/4 cup white rice. Cook until tender, then add 2 cups fresh or frozen peas; cook for a minute or two. Skip the bread. Garnish: Grated Parmesan

EARTHY

Bean Soup
Put 1 1/2 cup dried beans, 1 chopped onion, 2 chopped carrots, 2 chopped celery ribs, 2 bay leaves, 1 tablespoon fresh thyme leaves and 6 cups water in a pot over high heat. Boil, lower the heat, cover and simmer until the beans are soft, at least 1 hour, adding more water if necessary. Season with salt and pepper. Garnish: A drizzle of olive oil.

Chickpea-and-Pasta Soup
Substitute chickpeas for the beans and rosemary for the thyme and add 1 cup chopped tomatoes (canned are fine). When the chickpeas are almost tender, add 1/2 cup small pasta. Cook until the pasta and chickpeas are tender, 10 to 15 minutes. Garnish: A few chopped rosemary leaves.

Spicy Black-Bean Soup
Use black beans and substitute fresh oregano for the thyme. When the beans are done, add 1 tablespoon chili powder, 1 dried or canned chipotle and the juice of a lime. Garnish: Cilantro and sour cream.

HEARTY

Minestrone
Sauté 1 chopped onion, 1 chopped carrot, 1 chopped celery rib and 1 teaspoon minced garlic in 3 tablespoons olive oil for 5 minutes. Add 2 cups cubed potatoes and salt and pepper; cook for 2 minutes. Add 1 cup chopped tomatoes (canned are fine) and 5 cups water. Boil, lower the heat and simmer for 15 minutes. Add 1 cup chopped green beans; simmer for 20 minutes. Garnish: Chopped parsley and grated Parmesan.

Mushroom Soup
Substitute 1 1/2 pounds sliced mushrooms (preferably an assortment) for the potatoes; sauté until they brown, 10 to 12 minutes. Substitute ½ cup white wine for the tomatoes, skip the green beans and add a fresh thyme sprig with the water. Garnish: A few thyme leaves.

Tomato-and-Garlic Soup
Use 2 tablespoons minced garlic and substitute 2 tablespoons tomato paste for the celery. Skip the potatoes and green beans; use 3 cups tomatoes and 3 cups water. Cook the tomatoes for 10 to 15 minutes. Garnish: Lots of chopped or torn basil

Notes:

All of these recipes serve four, and you’ll want about a 2.5-to-4-quart (medium or large) pot. Most can be cooked for a while — but not so long that the freshness is gone. Most will taste as good or better the next day, so consider making a double batch and refrigerating (or freezing) the leftovers. But never boil a soup after you’ve added dairy to it; instead, reheat gently.

If you want a supersmooth soup (and just about any of these soups can be puréed if you like), use a standing blender — let the soup cool a bit first — which creates a finer purée than an immersion blender does; you might even strain the soup after puréeing it.

Garnishes are all optional, though herbs add a dimension that will be lacking otherwise. If you taste as you’re cooking, you’ll be fine, because there is really nothing to go wrong here.

296

dirtyprettything:

Nutella Hot Chocolate
-1 cup of milk
-2 spoonfuls of Nutella
-whipped cream
-mini marshmallows Directions: Pour about 1/4 of the milk into a saucepan on medium-low heat. Add the Nutella and whisk until blended. Slowly stir in the remaining milk. Add a pinch of cinnamon and whisk until hot and frothy. Carefully pour the mixture into a mug, add whipped cream, and mini marshmallows.